


Do You Know Love?

by AndrewArmstrong



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: And kinda Pj, Angst, DJ!Phil, Dan kills multiple innocent people, I might add ambiguity to Chris and PJs relationship, M/M, Mental Illness, Punk!Chris, So does Chris, Waitor!Dan, angst angst angst, but phan is slow burn, gay from the get go, serial killer au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-13 21:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9143287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrewArmstrong/pseuds/AndrewArmstrong
Summary: Dan Howell is NOT crazyChris Kendall is NOT a murdererPJ Liguori is NOT an insomniacand Phil Lester is definetely NOT afraid





	1. March 12, 2016

**Author's Note:**

> For clarification, Dan and Phil in the fic have a very similar relationship (and lack thereof) in the beginning as they do canonically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for the new year I'm posting on ao3 for the first time. (even though time is fake)

His eyes were the sky, his smile was the sun, god never meant to create such a beautiful creature. His laugh was a siren song that lured me in faster than I had ever fallen in my life. Phillip Lester was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The worst thing that ever happened to me was my mind. Even as a child, I knew that the other kids were different from me. They seemed to like who they were so I pretended that I was just like them; that's what I've done all my life. Perhaps that was my mistake.

My mind never truly took a toll on me til adulthood. I went to law school, because that's what I thought I was supposed to do, but I dropped out after a year. Turns out though, the constant stress was the only thing keeping me _okay_. I moved in with Phil, and everything seemed fine. I had some friends, though not close. I had a job, despite low pay. Best of all, I felt normal, for a little while.

Phil and I were sitting on the couch watching TV as we ate our breakfast. It was our tradition, and a way to motivate ourselves to get up in the morning. It was a Saturday, and a day off for both of us, so we weren't really in a hurry to go anywhere. Phil sat on my right, leaning on my shoulder.

The show we were watching was an obscure anime recommended by a friend of Phil's. Phil refused to tell me what it was about or even the genre, he wanted to surprise me. I was pretty sure he just wanted to make me more interested in the show, and it worked.

I watched intently as the main character walked into a back alley. She heard a loud noise and turned around to see a tall man with white skin and red eyes. The man took a knife to her neck and killed her in one swift motion.

I stood up quickly, I wasn't even sure why I was doing it at the time. I rushed into my room and locked the door.

 _What was going on? Why was I acting like this?_ I couldn't think about anything but that scene, about doing it myself. I had seen violence before, I had seen things much more violent than that. Why here? Why now?

My panic was interrupted by Phil banging on my door, "Dan, what's going on?"

"Go away, Phil," *why did I say that?*

"Let me in!"

"Leave me alone," I was crying now.

Phil kept banging, "please, Dan!"

I couldn't even respond, i just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

Eventually, Phil picked the lock on the door and came into my room. He tried asking me what was wrong but I still couldn't answer. I just sobbed as I hugged him, holding desperately onto my only normal feeling.

We never watched that show again after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapters following will be longer, this is more prolougey I guess


	2. March 14, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan goes to a prog-rock concert.

Phil and I never discussed my incident, but I knew he was concerned. He was very careful about everything, from the way he talked to me to the shows we watched. It bothered me a bit, but I never brought it up because I really didn't want to talk about it.

  
Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I had had mental breakdowns before, they were frequent when I was still in university. But those were because I was under stress, because I was pushing myself to hard. Why would I break because of some TV show.

  
Phil begged that I call in sick to work. He said that I was acting differently than usual, but I insisted that everything was fine.

  
I took the tube to work like normal. Then I went to work like normal. I made light conversation with Frank, a regular at the pub. Apparently, he started making YouTube videos.

  
"Oh, are you going to watch the band playing tonight?" He asked when I brought his food.

  
"I didn't know there was a band playing."

  
"They're called the Chaos, they're getting pretty popular, it's called prog-rock or something."

  
Then I made either the best or worst decision in my entire life, I decided to go and watch The Chaos.

  
~

  
When Frank said they were pretty popular, he was making a huge understatement, the tickets were sold out when I got there. The only way I got in was by asking my boss if I could work overtime, which he gladly let me. The crowd was rowdy and extremely excited, especially for a local band.

  
Their music actually wasn't that good. Well, it was okay. The reason they had such a following was their performance, the crowd was wild because the band was. At one point, the lead singer screamed and jumped into the crowd and punched one of the fans in the face. The fan wasn't even angry, he just kept moshing.

  
When the show ended, I was tasked with cleaning the blood, vomit, and vodka. There sure was a lot of it. The band was hanging around after the show, I think they were talking to their manager or something.

  
I heard yelling as I finished wiping down the bar. Something about selling out. Then, the lead singer strolled out and saw me. He winked and gave me a piece of paper with what I assumed was his number on it. Then he jogged out of the pub as the rest of the band chased after him.

  
After I finished cleaning, I locked up for the night.

  
When I got back to our flat, Phil was already asleep. I hadn't even realized how late it was until I looked at my clock, 12:31. I got undressed and tried to go to sleep.

  
A few minutes strolled by, I still couldn't sleep. I remembered that the singer from The Chaos gave me his number. I grabbed my phone.

  
I realized that I didn't know his name. "Carl from The Chaos" it is. He was fairly attractive, and I did have a tendency to fancy dangerous people. Maybe, I'd text him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote 1064 words in less than a week, but I can't even write 10 for school in a month. My teachers tell me I have wasted potential.
> 
> They're right, I need to write more fanfiction.


	3. March 15, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris Kendall is not to be trusted

I had forgotten to set my alarm. Thankfully, Phil came into my room to wake me up.

"How late were you out last night?" He asked as we both made cereal.

"After 12, some guy puked in the bathroom sink, I had to clean it up."

"Sounds like a blast."

Phil and I sat down on the couch and we watched reruns of The Great British Bake Off. When we finished eating, Phil left to go to work.

I didn't have work that day until 2 pm. I had about 8 hours before then. I took out my phone and texted "Carl".

**Hey, you gave me your number last night. I'm Dan**

I turned on sound notifications and kept watching TV. After a few minutes, I got a text back.

Carl from The Chaos: **woah i must have been loaded are you a fan**

**I work a the pub you preformed at last night**

Carl from The Chaos: **oh i remember you**

Carl from The Chaos: **are you free today??**

**I have work from 2-5, no plans otherwise though**

Carl from The Chaos: **lets meet for lunch**

Carl from The Chaos: **12 @ tongue and cheek cafe**

**See you there!**

I put my phone down and directed my attention back to the television.

_Ding_

Carl from the Chaos: **btw the names Chris ;)**

~

I didn't know him. I hadn't even known his name for longer than a few minutes. But I looked forward to lunch with the mysterious stranger.

At 11:45, I changed into a muse shirt and black skinny jeans. I put on earrings for good measure.

Tongue and Cheek Cafe wasn't very far from my flat, so I decided to walk there. At 12:15, Chris entered the cafe. He sat down across from me.

"hey, have you ordered yet?"

"no, I was waiting for you."

He smiled, "good." He stood up and motioned me to follow. "I wasn't planning on eating."

Whether or not I trusted him, I wasn't sure. I suppose I was desperate for adventure. I thought, *maybe it'll be fun* So, despite all logic, I followed.

I could tell Chris was satisfied with my reaction, there was a sort of fire that flashed in his eyes. A red in his light brown eyes.

Chris led me out of the restaurant and onto the busy streets. He led me a few streets away and into an alleyway. *brilliant, he's either trying to fuck me or kill me*

"wait here," Chris ordered me.

"Chris I don't think I'm comfortable doing that."

he looked back at me, there was a different fire in his eyes this time, "why?"

"I've only just met you and now you're telling me to stand and wait for you in a creepy alleyway, it's a bit sketchy don't you think."

"Would it be less sketchy if we already knew each other?" He asked, almost testing me.

"I guess."

Chris' lips crashed against mine. He pinned me to the wall and for some strange reason, I liked it. He tasted like cigarettes and sex. My heart raced and I could feel his doing the same, everything around us was quiet and all that mattered was the moment.

I gasped for air and he pulled away and whispered, "now we know each other."

i was too stunned to do anything, the adrenaline just held me in place.

"wait here." And with that, he left.

After a few minutes, I became anxious of why I was waiting in an alley way for some random guy I had just snogged.

Endless scenarios ran through my head, I tried to think of any reason Chris would bring me here that wasn't malicious intent. Was he testing me?

After exactly 6 minutes and 30 seconds, he came back. He was wearing a different shirt, but nothing else had changed.

"Good, you waited," Chris said, "Come on."

This left me utterly confused, "what was that about?"

"I didn't like my outfit, so I changed." *oh.*

Chris walked away and I followed. I don't know why I followed. Any logical human being would have left the minute Chris told them to wait in that alley, but not me.

Perhaps curiosity got the best of me, perhaps I was just attracted to dangerous situations, or rather, it was a mixture of both.

Regardless of whatever reasoning, I followed Chris.

He led me into another alleyway.

Chris turned to me, "You're good with heights, right?"

I looked behind him and saw he was referring to the fire escape, "yeah."

Chris smiled and started the climb up the fire escape. I took a deep breath, and followed.

The building was taller than it looked, or rather it seemed taller as I climbed. The metal creaked and moaned as Chris and I walked across it. We reached the roof and Chris sat down by the edge.

"The best place to smoke is in the sky, with the clouds, don't you think," Chris asked.

"I don't really smoke."

"Too bad." Chris pulled a cigarette pack out of his pocket and lit one. "Sit down."

I sat down next to him, as I looked down to the ground below us, anxiety built up inside me.

"Don't fall," Chris teased.

He offered me a cigarette, reluctantly I took it. I put it in my mouth and he lit it for me.

The cigarette tasted disgusting, it was unbelievably bitter and burned my throat. I took the cigarette out of my mouth to cough, Chris chuckled. He drew a puff of smoke.

"How do you smoke this stuff?" I asked after coughing.

"You get used to it."

We smoked on the roof and made small talk for ten or so minutes, the cigarette still irritated my throat, but I did it to impress him.

Soon, he stood up and looked at his phone, "I've got to go." He kissed my cheek and left me on the roof, with a cigarette and a curiosity.

-

I went back to the flat. Phil was sitting on the couch on the computer.

"Hey, Dan!"

"Oh, hello"

"Where were you?" Phil smiled cheekily, like he already knew the answer.

"I was on a date, actually."

We were both silent for a second, "really," Phil said, I could have swore he was almost disappointing, but there was no reason for him to be, "what's her name."

" _His_ name is Chris."

"Oh."

Phil was acting strange.

I went back to my room and dressed for work. Then, I went into the kitchen and made tea. My throat still hurt.


End file.
